Your stress response isn’t broken—it’s trying to protect you
If you’ve ever felt your heart racing before a big presentation, snapped at someone when overwhelmed, or frozen in place when faced with bad news, congratulations—your nervous system is working exactly as it should.
As a psychotherapist, I see people wrestle with their stress responses all the time. They ask, Why do I always overreact? Why can’t I just be calm? The truth? Your stress response isn’t a flaw—it’s a built-in survival system, the same one that has kept animals (including humans) alive for as long as life has existed.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE STRESSED?
Your body is designed to react to threats automatically. When your brain perceives danger—whether it’s a real threat (a bear in the woods) or a modern one (an overflowing inbox)—your nervous system shifts into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode.
These responses aren’t unique to humans. Think of a gazelle darting away from a predator (flight), a cat hissing and puffing up its fur (fight), a rabbit staying perfectly still to avoid detection (freeze), or a wolf submitting to the pack leader to avoid conflict (fawn). Our nervous system operates in much the same way, preparing us to either escape danger, confront it, or shut down to conserve energy.
The problem? Unlike animals, who shake off stress and return to baseline once the threat is gone, humans tend to carry stress with them, replaying situations in their minds and staying stuck in survival mode long after the danger has passed.
HOW TO WORK WITH YOUR STRESS RESPONSE (INSTEAD OF FIGHTING IT)
Instead of beating yourself up for how you react to stress, try these ways to support your nervous system:
Validate Your Response
Instead of asking Why am I like this? try Of course I feel this way—my nervous system is trying to keep me safe. A little self-compassion goes a long way.Breathe with Intention
Slow, deep breaths signal safety to your nervous system. Try this: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for six. Longer exhales help dial down the stress response.Move Your Body
Stress builds up in the body, and movement helps release it. Walk, stretch, dance—whatever helps shift the energy.Engage Your Senses
Splash cold water on your face, hold something textured, or listen to grounding music. Engaging the senses brings you back to the present.Connect with Others
Co-regulation—feeling safe with another person—soothes the nervous system. A chat with a friend, a hug, or even spending time with a pet can help.
YOUR BODY IS ON YOUR SIDE
Your stress response isn’t the enemy—it’s just trying to protect you, sometimes a little too enthusiastically. The more you understand it, the more you can work with it instead of against it. And when you do? You’ll find that stress no longer feels like something you have to battle—it’s just part of being human.