6 Myths about Emotions (And the truth behind them)

Emotions are a core part of being human, yet so many myths surround them. From the belief that some emotions are "bad" to the idea that we should be able to control them, these misconceptions can lead to frustration, shame, and avoidance. The truth is, emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re messengers. The more we understand them, the more we can work with them instead of against them.

Let’s break down six common myths about emotions and what’s actually true.

1. Myth: "Some emotions are bad or negative."

Many people label emotions like anger, sadness, or fear as “bad” and happiness or excitement as “good.” But emotions aren’t inherently positive or negative—they’re just signals.

Reality: All emotions serve a purpose. Sadness can help us process loss, anger can signal boundaries being crossed, and fear can keep us safe. Instead of judging emotions, we benefit more from listening to what they’re trying to tell us.

2. Myth: "You can control your emotions."

Ever been told to “just calm down” when you were upset? As if flipping a switch could change how you feel? While we can influence our emotions, we can’t control which ones arise.

Reality: Emotions happen automatically based on our experiences, thoughts, and nervous system responses. What we can control is how we respond to them—whether we suppress, react impulsively, or choose a more intentional response.

3. Myth: "If you ignore an emotion, it will go away."

Many people avoid uncomfortable emotions by distracting themselves, staying busy, or pushing feelings down. But suppressed emotions don’t disappear—they just show up in other ways.

Reality: Unprocessed emotions can manifest as physical symptoms (like tension or headaches), unexpected emotional outbursts, or patterns of avoidance. The only way out is through—acknowledging emotions helps them move.

4. Myth: "Emotions are irrational."

People often dismiss emotions as “irrational” or “overreacting.” But emotions exist for a reason—they provide data about what’s happening internally and externally.

Reality: While emotions may not always align with logic, they contain valuable information. Even when a reaction seems disproportionate, it’s rooted in something real—whether it’s past experiences, unmet needs, or subconscious fears. Instead of dismissing emotions, it’s more useful to get curious about them.

5. Myth: "Other people can make you feel a certain way."

It’s easy to say, “They made me angry” or “She hurt my feelings.” While others’ actions can influence how we feel, they don’t control our emotions.

Reality: Our emotions are shaped by our perceptions, past experiences, and interpretations. Two people can experience the same situation and feel completely different about it. Recognizing this gives us more power over our emotional responses.

6. Myth: "If an emotion is strong, it must be true."

Strong emotions can feel overwhelming and convincing, making it easy to assume they reflect reality. But emotions, while real, aren’t always accurate indicators of the present situation.

Reality: Emotions are influenced by our thoughts, past experiences, and triggers. Just because we feel abandoned, unsafe, or unworthy doesn’t mean we actually are. Creating space between feeling and reacting helps us check in with reality before making decisions.

Final Thoughts

Emotions aren’t problems to fix or control—they’re signals to understand. The more we make space for them, the more we gain clarity and choice in how we respond.